I have struggled with this Christian thing for many years now. I thought I had worked it all out and I was in a safe place.But looking at my life over the past few years, I have entered a desert. I’m in a place where I am lost and unsure what side I am on. On one hand being very uncomfortable with the views and opinions of Christians who almost think that everyone should fit a specific model. On the other hand seeing the breakdown of so many structures and people expecting me to accept their perverse standpoint. I was struck a few years ago by someone saying, just leave the pitch, stop playing these pointless games. I think perhaps I want to get back to the basics of just following Jesus, and understand His teachings. to start building relationships with people, and being kind and caring for their needs. I have given up on the idea of either being in or out. I think it is either moving towards Jesus or away from Him. There is no magical solution to salvation, that once I become a follower of Jesus everything will be fine and perfect. It is getting up in the morning and say I am going to make a difference to the lives of those around me whether they are friends or enemies.
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